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Installation

When you first get your monkey, it will come attached to a car battery.  The monkey will be breathing, barely, and starved half to death, but it's not "activated" yet.  To activate your monkey, you will have set the toggle switch to "ON".  This will make the monkey jump around like a happy monkey.  Turn off the switch, feed the monkey it's special "monkey feed", and the cycle of pain and care has begun.

Cleaning Your Monkey

The monkey can clean himself.  All you need is a fire hose and some strong lye-based soap,  which you can purchase online at our Monkey Shop.

Spanking Your Monkey

Never spank your monkey in view of others, unless they are absolutely insistent upon it or wish to help you.