Denny's

Walk into almost any Denny's in the country (is Denny's in other countries? Is IHOP in other countries? If Denny's is and IHOP isn't, there would be a great deal of irony) and just to the right of the door will be a machine, a game if you will. It takes a quarter to play. There is a joystick and a button that says "DROP" on it. You put your quarter in and guide the crane arm to the stuffed animal located inside and push the button at just the right moment and a flaccid claw drops from the roof of the machine to barely latch onto the ear of a stuffed animal. The machine never actually picks any thing up. Occasionally, it knocks something over at the edge, however. You put in a quarter and 5 seconds of your time. Not a big investment. Not a big return.

Far too many males approach dating in this manner, so today, it's their turn to incur my disdain. Putting 5 seconds worth of effort into "How you doin?" or "Hey, don't I know you?" and actually expecting the woman to fall at your feet overwhelmed with your charm and your haircut is preposterous, if not delusional.

Here is the deal, no one ever wants to think that they are an afterthought, I mean no one, that includes the people who know without a doubt that they are an afterthought. You know, the bare minimum, the absolute bare minimum that a woman wants is to feel special. When you put a quarter worth of effort into the pursuit of a girl, you make her feel like one of those stuffed animals in that glass case. If she is terribly unlucky she'll get picked up.

Teddy Roosevelt packed up what was then the Secret Service, his cabinet, wife, kids and a bunch of reporters and went to Africa to stalk and hunt black puma (not the running shoe). It was terribly difficult hunting the most cunning hunter in the animal world, and the lone puma Roosevelt bagged evidenced that. Now Teddy was a hunter. He studied hunting. He studied guns. He even studied up on Africa. Teddy risked substantial failure, that is wasting all his time to hunt one cat. I'm not asking you to hide in the bushes outside her house with a weapon (hint: if the bushes outside her house figure in your relationship in any manner, it's not going to work out. Just go ahead and turn yourself into the police now or you should start stalking male members of the Hell's Angels). I'm asking you to try. If you actually think she's worth the time, heck, put some effort into it. You can pretend that you're not trying if that's your gig. While Tyler Durden would say "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake", you are however unique. If you can present what makes you truly special and the girl still puts up her nose, the useless chick wasn't worth your effort and would have likely just cost you an inordinate amount of money and time taking her to movies you didn't want to see or, worse, forcing you to pretend to like her stupid, smelly cat.

Actually risk something! If nothing else, this should convince you that you currently have all the stuffed animals that you'll ever need.