Dating

If there is one thing that bothers me, it's pleather. If there are two things, the second one is a lack of honesty in friendships. Why does this bother me? The string of bitter people that you must club into submission in order to gain their trust.

My anger will be directed at two distinct types of dishonesty in friendships. They are not respective of sex, but I'll use the masculine to represent them.

The Commando Date: A male meets a female of the species and finds her quite attractive. Very early on she puts the "Do Not Disturb" tag on her door knob. The male sensing his impeding mojo flame out, sends out a high pitch signal that sounds like "I just want to be your friend." The female then lowers the "friend" drawbridge and allows the little Trojan horse into, well, er, Troy. For a long time they have this really sweet friendship. The male will even praise the friendship. Then, usually after one of those friend dinners, he will suggest they take "a walk". During the course of this walk he will hop out of his little Trojan friendship and reveal himself to be, surprise, a commando date. You didn't just have dinner with a friend, you had a date. You just thought you were going to have fun and talk, but no, you were really just climbing into his trap. Now you have "gone out" with this guy and he will ask to go out again. He will expect it. Because, if you said yes to one date, you'll say yes again.

The Caveman Date: Picture this, a young man asks a girl if she would like to join a group of their friends at a movie on Friday, a large group. As the week goes on, Ms. So-and-so is now busy and cannot come, and since she isn't coming, neither is Mr. What's-his-name. By the night of said cinematic feature, the convocation is down to a small group of his acquaintances. She arrives to the dinner (there must be a dinner) and his friends are going to have to skip dinner, they will have to meet them at the theatre. Dinner is always at some romantic place where he can joke about how lovely she looks that evening, and she can feel secure knowing for certain, this is not a date, it's a group thing and they'll be along soon enough. She is wrong. You see, when they arrive at the theatre, there will be no friends. They have now gone to dinner, he's complimented her eyes, hair and shoes (requisite compliments for the caveman date), and she is on a date. He has lured the little woman into the clearing with spinach salad and herb encrusted mahi mahi, clubbed her over the head and now he's dragging her to a movie and she can't do much about it.